"Nobody Leaves My Tequilla Warm, Dangling in De Wind!"

Apologies for the delay in posting, madcap Bonkers Loony Conspiracy fans. It's been one of those weeks where one who means to do everything on a long list ends up scribbling out "The Week Beginning 6th March" and replacing it with "The Week Beginning 13th March" instead. You see, what with Tuesday's strike adding to my usual Wednesday off, this has become the ultimate lazy time.

Of course, I've had things to do, and as the title/picture above will show, The Legend of Zorro was released on DVD on Monday! Okay, so I get excited about films, who doesn't when they're this good? Funny, tense, spectacular and touching, Zorro films have it all, and this latest one doesn't disappoint. Antonio Bandaras, while admittedly a little chubby around the chin area, still does fantastically well as the Mexican Fox and Catherine Zeta-Jones is a surprising strength of the film too, performing comedy just as well as action or dialogue. Add a wonderful new talent in Zorro's son, the ten-year-old Joaquin, and a comedy horse with vices like drinking, smoking and not being able to speak English ("Over the hill, to the Governer's mansion... I said, over the hill to the Governer's mansion!") and you've got a winner.

Thanks to Dad for dropping by on Tuesday too, and providing me with fish, chips and alcohol with which to jeer at half a football match! This Sunday I'm off down to Redcar to watch him run a half-marathon: worth the 06:00 start? Of course! Worth the 06:00 start on the second day after 24: The Game is released? Well...

In the real world (what's that, I hear you ask? Don't look at me), small traders are moaning again about supermarkets dominating the food market. Well, they're called "super"markets for a reason, fools! If I want food, I want to go somewhere that has a cool name like "super" and makes me think "Look at me, I'm shopping in the same place as Clark Kent!", not some backalley shop that sells carrots with dirt still on them and charges twice as much for the pleasure of washing it off (easy target)! No, give me cheap food pumped full of chemicals anyday, thank you very much.

Oh, and another thing (raised by Mum, confirmed by The Spectator): everyone's looking at Tessa Jowell and her ex-husband, shaking their fists and questioning their relationship with Mr. Handkerchief-Head Berlusconi and her ministerial integrity, but has anyone bothered to mention outside of a few closing lines at the bottom of a page that His Tonyness frequently uses Berlusconi's holiday home for free (leading the Italian press to call him "los scroconi"... no, not "a scrotum", or literally even "several scrotums", but "the scrounger")? Funny how he's now cleared Jowell of wrongdoing, because raking her over hot coals just might make people say "Hang on, didn't you go on holiday with Cherie to Tuscany at the expense of the Italian taxpayer?" Still, that's the New Labour government for you... seriously people, please: I don't want to sound like I'm telling you what to do, but for goodness sake get rid of His Tonyness and Henchman Brown at the next election and vote for someone worth voting for (ie, "Dave" Cameron)!

That was a contradiction, wasn't it? Hey, whatever, talk to the hand...

There will be no online diary entry tomorrow here at Bonkers Loony Conspiracy, madcap fans, due to my entire time being taken up with POL132 from 09:00 until 10:00 and then 24: The Game being purchased and played to death. Perhaps Saturday from Simon's computer if he lets me and if I'm not too busy muttering "This is the longest day of my life..." while shooting terrorists and inevitably rescuing Kim from some overblown hostage situation. And, now that Sunday is busy too, I shall probably make a massive blast at posting here on Monday.

Until then, ladies and mentalmen, peace out.