In a Mirror, Darkly

I went shopping for some clothes the other day, madcap Bonkers fans. I never go shopping for clothes. My fashion sense is about as switched on as Terry Wogan's. After his eyes have been pecked out by crows. And yet still I went, still I looked, still I liked and still I purchased (but at very budget prices, due to my overdraft being so large I may have to contemplate having my limbs repossessed).

...hey, at least I didn't come out with anything that colour! But you think he looks a little silly in that, perhaps you should try to imagine something twice as bad. Got it? That's a quarter of how silly I looked when I got home and tried my new stuff on. Add more stupidness, a little more sillyness, and ten times it by ten, and you've got the end result: stuff three sizes (I think I got all that maths right...) too small. I looked in a mirror, darkly, and decided enough was enough. I was trying too hard at something I'm just not made for. Gucci, Versace, FCUK (yeah, and you)... I've given up, I took it all back, spent the money on biscuits and retreated to my House of Death (now with extra fashion shame).

I'm sticking to stuff I'm good at and know. To that end, I've written my first 400-word assignment for Middle Eastern Politics, which I was quite happy to submit, I've watched several Steven Seagal films and laughed at how "so bad it's good" his acting is (hey, I can't pick apart his fighting), I've created my own personalised desktop background featuring an image from everything I love, from 24 to Sonic the Hedgehog, then promptly changed it the next day, and ate more biscuits. All the stuff I'm good at.

Hats off, ladies and mentalmen. Amoose boosh?

Fortunate Son

Well, madcap Bonkers fans, here they are: my final Semester One exam results for both my political modules. Now, remember I thought I'd fail these?

- Government and Politics of the United States of America
2,000 Word Essay: 63%
Multiple-Choice Examination: 49%
2-Hour Essay Examination: 57%
- Overall Final Mark for the Module: 57%

- The Politics and Policy of the European Union
PowerPoint Group Presentation: 61%
Group Briefing Paper: 60%
2-Hour Essay Examination: 61.5%
- Overall Final Mark for the Module: 61%

Now, if you'll excuse me, ladies and mentalmen, I'm going to find a large bottle of vodka and scream for roughly... ooh, three hours should do it. Peace out.

A New Hope

Well, ye of little faith (I'm talking to myself here, madcap Bonkers fans)!

This week and next week, the exam results are officially published by Universities across the country and I've subsequently discovered my final mark for HIS2033: Imperial China. Remember, the one with the disasterous essay and "what a failings" comments made about it? The one I was certain would require a resit? 66%. That's a 2:1 Degree.

Whoa, that's a freaky picture... anywho, so I'm thinking if I did that well on an essay I thought was a complete and utter Chernobyl mushroom cloud of craptacularness (which I did), perhaps my Politics results next week won't be all that bad...? It's certainly a new hope that's formulated close to the front of my mind. So now the weekend couldn't be looking better: I'm getting a haircut and shave tomorrow, going shopping for healthy food, organising a night out to the cinema and generally feeling much better about stuff.

My new courses are helping, too... all except Middle Eastern Politics, which is tough. And I'm not talking tough as in "Oh no, I have to think about this one for more than ten seconds, panic stations!" tough. This isn't even Space Shuttle re-entry tile tough (which, as it turns out, is pretty weak). No, this is lead-lined armour-plated bullet-proof anti-bomb Presidential limo door tough. Eep.

Gotta love a challenge, though... peace out, ladies and mentalmen. I shall return...

The Day After Tomorrow

You know something, madcap Bonkers fans? For all the fuss I made about 2007 being a great year, the Year of Bond, I'm not so sure anymore. I mean, what's gonna happen that's exciting about this year?

There are new series' of 24 and Doctor Who, sure, but that'll be happening again and again. The only major bit of news will be the resignation of His Tonyness, due to happen sometime around May as he foretold last year. But unless there's a really bitter and bloody power struggle for Number 10 involving Gordon Brown being assassinated by MI6 or some dodgy tapes of him in bed with John Prescott's secretary (who knows?), it'll be a regular and boring handover of power. "Oh, we've got a new Prime Minister... what's for dinner?" And if it does turn out to be Brown, I'll be making this face:

Could that guy be any more of a tax-fuelled moron? Anyway, there are a few decent films coming soon, too, including The Simpsons Movie... In 2D and Transformers which will help the summer run smoothly and pass with a few laughs. Other than that, though, 2007 hasn't got much going for it. It's just gonna be a regular year.

2008. Now that's where the real fun'll be. Let's make a list of all the great stuff that's gonna happen in 2008 and compare with the above face to judge which year, this or the next, will be more exciting and interesting to live in, shall we? Right, starting with politics, we've got the US Presidential Primaries in January, followed by the US General Election in November. This will be amazing: in the Democrat Party, Obama versus Clinton in January will determine if we get the first Black American President or the first Female American President (does that make Bill the "First Man"? Discuss), because the Republicans don't have a shot in Hell. In the summer, I graduate (hopefully) from the University of Newcastle Upon Tyne and decide what to do with myself. I'm guessing watching the US Election coverage on the BBC will play a major part in said decision... bring on the chips and dip.

Then in the entertainment world... well, check this out for a list: Star Trek XI in the summer, Indiana Jones IV starring Harrison Ford is close behind and then finishing off in November with James Bond 22, Daniel Craig's second outing as 007. With unconfirmed rumours that we'll also see 24: The Movie making an apperance, well, what can I say? Wow just about sums it up.

In other words, ladies and mentalmen, I'll be seeing you all in 2008... peace out...